Murdered past

:)

I'm here alone in an empty castle, it's quiet here. No scream, no whisper. Only silence that fills every corner of this semi-destructive castle My faithful companion is only loneliness, reflected in the form of gender.

The castle stands separated from everything; a tragedy occurred in its existence long ago. He is like a lost ship on the sea without wind, without purpose. It stands somewhere separately, with boundless expanses stretching beyond its walls.

The castle is filled with stories floating through the air, like personal phantoms, carrying through the corridors and halls the faded memories of people who once could have invested their hopes and dreams within its stone walls. However, now their traces remain only in dust and abandoned structures.

My world is just a place separated from everything.

I'm here myself, in a boundless void, where pieces of the castle, like asteroids around a planet, float in a vacuum, not moving away, but not merging back.

This castle is my prison and my refuge, and every day spent here reminds me of the "Murdered Past."

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There was a quiet sound from the waves as they hit the underwater rocks. The sunset painted the sky in golden shades, and its reflections danced on the water waves. The wind carried the smell of sea salt mixed with the coolness of autumn. Leaves falling from the trees slowly floated across the water, merging with the waves. A girl was sitting on the shore. The cold wind blew through her hair, but she didn't pay attention, lost in her thoughts. Simple drawings appeared on the sand: a little man, the sun, a house. Her fingers slid lightly through the warm sand until a wave washed away some of her creations, forcing her to start again.

A quiet growl in her stomach made her stop. She glanced at the calm sea, as if hoping it would answer, but the answer was obvious - she needed to go home. Sighing heavily, she stood up and left the shore, making her way through the tall grass to her shelter.

In front of her stood an old, dilapidated dwelling. It had long ago become abandoned, a silent witness to his loneliness. The inside smelled of dampness and dust. The girl quickly went to her hiding places, carefully checking every corner in search of at least a crumb of food. But they were all empty.

"Well... Have I really forgotten that everything is over for me?.." she muttered under her breath.

Disappointed, she left the house and headed towards the village, lost in her own thoughts.

"Why is everything like this? Why am I here, by myself? Is this what life looks like?.."

They came back to her mind again - those she had never known, but had always looked for parents, a home, love.

"What is... love?" – she suddenly thought, peering into the distance.

She noticed people going about their business - some laughing, some talking, and some just walking along the narrow streets. Everything looked so... normal. It was as if the world lived its own life, and she simply did not exist in it.

But as soon as she approached the houses, the voices died down.

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"The residents of this village look at me with hypocritical indifference. They don't accept me, they don't want to see me around. They would rather tolerate me than recognize me as an equal... But I just want to live like them."

Her fingers involuntarily clenched into fists, but she just lowered her head and stepped forward.

Walking into the depths of the village, she walked with stiff steps between the houses, she felt cold fear and pain squeezing her chest. Looking over her shoulder, she made sure that there was no one behind her and continued on her way. She almost forgot why she came here, but now it was important to find at least something that could help her hunger.

And after several minutes of searching, her gaze settled on a house where an apple tree grew in the backyard. The fruits were already ripe, but they were never harvested.

She climbed over the weak stone fence enclosing the house. It wasn't that far to the tree.

"So, I forgot my bag!" - flashed through my head. She mumbled quietly, feeling out of place again.

Looking around, she noticed a small barn. She walked up and noticed there were several bags inside, probably containing potatoes that had recently begun to be harvested. It looks like the owners have already completed some of the work and gone for a short rest.

She realized that there was not enough time, so she took the first empty bag she came across, quickly approached the tree and began to collect apples that fell right under her hands.

In a panic, she accidentally dropped one apple. She stopped and watched it roll straight towards the owner of the house. Their eyes met and they froze for a moment. A little later, the woman ran to the broom, which was lying near the bags of potatoes.

The girl quickly grabbed the bag of apples and ran to the place where she climbed over the fence. The woman, as soon as she took the broom, began shouting threats at her and demanding that everything go back.

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Her screams attracted the attention of other family members and neighbors. children who collected stones to throw at her.

Unable to bear it, she ran again, not thinking about anything other than how to escape. Her body ached from running so long and fast, but she didn't stop until she reached home.

She ran to her house, breathing heavily, covered in dust and scared from everything that had happened. Her legs were shaking, her heart was beating so loudly that it seemed to be audible in the silence of the abandoned hut. She sat down on the creaky, half-rotten wooden floor, leaned against the wall and began to cry. She herself did not know from what exactly - from fear, or from how cruelly the world was treating her.

It took a few minutes for her breathing to even out. With a headache and some tiredness in her body, she stood up and carefully moved the apples from the bag to one of her hiding places. Putting them aside for future use, she took one, the smallest and slightly battered one, sat in a dark corner and slowly began to eat, feeling hungry and empty.

Her eyes followed the last rays of sunlight through cracks in the walls and roof, golden light gliding across the dusty floor, casting shadows like those of long-forgotten dreams.

Having eaten the apple to the very core, without leaving a single piece, she imperceptibly sank down onto the wooden floor and fell asleep. In the dark silence, only her even snoring and the creaking of the old boards under her breath could be heard. The sun was slowly hiding behind the horizon, covering the world in darkness.

Suddenly her sleep was interrupted by loud shouts and voices coming from outside. She closed her eyes and noticed shadows and lights flickering through the cracks in the walls. She rose slowly from the floor, half asleep, and stood against the wall. The creaking of the old wood as she moved betrayed her presence.

The voices in the street suddenly died down. As if they had never been there. Only the rustling of footsteps and moving shadows betrayed the presence of people. Holding her breath, she carefully peered over the wall. Her eyes fell on a group of adult men with torches. They were whispering quietly, casting short glances at the house.

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Slowly, without haste, they approached. One after another, several torches rose into the air and flew in through the half-broken window. The old fabric that had once served as a curtain was the first to catch fire. The wood immediately accepted the fire - dry, cracking, filled with time and oblivion.

She stood frozen in place, mesmerized, watching the house burn. The flames licked the old wooden walls, growing with each passing second. On the side, behind the walls, the boys stood back and laughed, watching the burning house as if it was something ordinary.

She looked from them to the burning beams, back to their faces, disfigured with malice. Everything seemed to freeze, even their breathing stopped. She was only pulled out of shock when the heat from the flames touched her face - the fire was already a meter away.

Slowly, tripping over her own feet, she walked out of the house, still not fully aware of what she was doing. Her appearance immediately attracted the attention of the boys. One of them walked toward her, smiling and clenching his fists.

"Hey, guys, she got out of the house! Baby, come here!" he exclaimed mockingly.

The other boys followed him. The approaching words and footsteps finally brought her back to reality. She turned sharply and ran as fast as she could into the woods that stretched out near the house.

She did not look back. Voices and screams could be heard behind her for a long time, but they were drowned out by the dull, heavy beating of her heart, echoing in her chest, drowning out everything else. She did not know where she was running - the thickets were becoming denser, harder to pass through. It was unknown who else was pursuing her, but her legs themselves carried her forward, through branches, bushes, pain and fear.

Only one thing stopped her - she got caught over a thick tree root. Having barely jumped over it, she lost her balance and fell down a small cliff, hearing her hands and feet scratching on the rough bark and branches.

The girl lay on the damp ground, every scratch of hell, every bruise a reminder of fatigue. The entire forest around her was dark, wild, as if it was breathing itself. Every rustle, every sound seemed threatening. She listened, to see if she could hear pursuit. But only the rustling of leaves and the distant hooting of an owl. Her heart calmed down a little, although anxiety did not leave.

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The night became her refuge, but also her danger. She was so exhausted that she couldn’t even move. Where she fell, there she stayed. Her eyes slowly closed, and sleep covered her like a blanket. She fell asleep right in the middle of the forest, in the darkness, embracing loneliness.

The light dew that fell on the ground made everything around her damp. The small drops that fell on her woke her up. The light and pleasant smell of grass attracted her attention. Despite everything, it was quiet around her - only the singing of birds broke the silence. A sharp pain from waking up engulfed her entire body. Light rays of the sun broke through the dense forest. Memories rolled in, as did the pain of losing her home.

Trying to get up, she felt pain and fatigue, barely sitting down on the cold and damp grass. With sleepy eyes, she looked around. She saw the place where she fell and realized that her body was covered in bruises and scratches. Her legs ached from loading and descending.

With difficulty rising on her legs, trembling from weakness, she looked at the slope once more and quietly said:

- Is it worth going back?..

Clutching her sweater in her chest into a fist, she continued to repeat these words in her head, not finding an answer. She stood like that for a few more minutes until she gathered the strength to move away from the mountain. Turning around, feeling empty inside, she slowly moved further into the forest.

She walked carefully and slowly, because she had never walked so far before. She did not know how much time had passed, but suddenly her stomach growled loudly. The girl hugged it with her hands and crouched down a little, feeling completely powerless.

Looking around for something edible, she found nothing for some time. But, walking a little further, she finally noticed some blueberry bushes. Approaching them, she carefully began to eat a little at a time, with greedy gratitude for each berry.

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Stopping, she saw how her fingers and nails had become dark blue from the juice of the berries. She looked at them in surprise, and then a slight sincere smile appeared on her face.

- Decorated nails! - she exclaimed cheerfully, forgetting about everything that had happened before. Laughing, she felt like a child for a moment, free from fears and pain.

Calmed down, but still smiling, she picked some berries "for later", leaving some on the bushes. Shaking off her dress and hands, she continued on her way, carefully looking around. Her steps were light, and curiosity lit up her eyes again.

Yes, after traveling all day, she finally came across a river. Walking further through the forest, she ate berries, then marveled at everything new and unknown that she encountered on her way. This forest was scary, but also wonderful at the same time.

Evening was approaching. Her day had been eventful, even cheerful, although it had consisted only of a journey through the forest. She had come across strange creatures, studied their appearance with amazement, and tried to understand what they were.

While looking for a place to spend the night, she suddenly came out of the forest. A mountain rose in front of her, and on its top grew a lonely tree. The entire lawn around was covered with colorful flowers. Below, under the slope, stretched the endless ocean. She could hear the waves crashing against the rocks, and a cold wind blew over her body from head to toe.

The sunset revealed a true picture of peace to her - even at the edge of the forest it was magical. Despite the cold and the slippery stones that covered the shore, she, enchanted by the beauty and silence of this place, slowly moved closer to the ocean.

Jumping from rock to rock, careful not to fall on the wet surface, she reached a large boulder. Sitting on it, the girl watched the waves wash the foot of the mountain and smiled. Her heart felt peace for the first time in a long time.

She leaned back and accidentally lay right on the wet stone.

- I’m so tired… - she said with false sadness, watching two birds flying past the already darkening sky.

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But the sudden cold made her stand up abruptly. The water left behind by the waves rose up her back, and frost ran through her body like ants.

- How cold it has become… - she whispered, rubbing her hands. She looked at the horizon – the sun had already disappeared behind the horizon, leaving behind a gentle glow.

Jumping from rock to rock, she began to move back towards the hill. And suddenly she noticed a little higher up – an opening in the rock, almost invisible from below. It was a cave. The spray from the waves did not reach it, and it seemed dry all around.

She carefully climbed up the slippery rocks with her hands and feet, as if on an invisible ladder. Her fingers were getting tired, but she stubbornly climbed further, because she could no longer remain in the cold ocean wind.

Burrowing into the darkness, she finally sat down on a flat stone and exhaled heavily, dropping to all fours.

- I hope I can sleep here… - she whispered tiredly and quietly laughed to herself, as if mocking the hope for peace.

Standing up and walking to the edge, she looked down.

- Well, it’s high… - she said and sighed heavily.

She stood doubtfully at the entrance to the cave. It was quiet, cool and damp there. - Maybe it would be better to go back to the forest?.. - she thought, but then shook her head. - No. It took me so long to get here.

She stepped deeper. Slowly, feeling her way forward, she felt each stone under her hands. Deeper, it was darker, but also quieter. Finally, she felt a more even surface. She sat down carefully, hugging herself with her arms.

The cold penetrated her entire body, making every muscle tremble. Ants ran across her skin, and with them, a strange, uneasy feeling. But despite everything, she was in shelter. And that was already better than a night in the open.

She carefully lay down on the cold stone, pressing her back against it, as if searching for support. The cold that enveloped her body became like a white blanket - sharp, but surprisingly calming.

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Darkness embraced the cave from all sides, and the sound of the waves outside was like a quiet lullaby. The rhythmic beating of the water on the rock mixed with the echo in the depths, creating an amazing music of peace.

And while the night pulled its blanket over all living things, she slowly sank into sleep. Soft, sweet and deep - the first peaceful sleep in a long time.

Odiechieng’ nokalo kendo odhiambo nochopo. Rieny mar chieng’ ne donjo e gotno, kendo ne oriwre gi yamo mamoro ng’ich ma ne wuok e nam chumbi. Yamo maler ne oumo gotno kowuok e iye, kendo ne okelo ng’ich mar lum mag nam kod nam ma nigi chumbi. Duol mayom mar nam, magoyre mos e wi kite mantie piny, ne opong'o ling' gi thum mamit.

Ne ochiew, kendo bang’e ne onindo moromo. Kata obedo ni ringrene ne lit bang’ bedo e wi kidi ma ne ng’ichno otieno, ne owinjo maber—ne en okang’ mokwongo bang’ kinde malach, nindone ne obedo mayom. Ka oting’o lwete, ne ochung’ mos mos kendo owuok oko. Ka obet ewi mtoka ma ne ni e nyim dhoot mar got, ne otemo mondo gikone ochiew, ka oyuyo yamo maler kendo ka oneno ka chieng’ wuok e kor lwasi.

Gik matin ma ne ng’ur e iye ne omiyo gikone ochiew.

- Ne owuoyo gi dwol mapiny, ka ng’ato ng’ur kama: Ok, nyaka wadok e bungu.

Ka ne odhi piny gi ritruok kowuok e kidi, ka odhi ng’ado ng’wech kowuok e ng’et kidi achiel nyaka machielo, kendo ne odok e bungu. Kuondego, bang’ yudo kendo bungu ma ne nigi yiend berry, ne ochamo nyaka opong’ kendo nochoko moko mondo otigodo e kinde mabiro. Bang’e, ka ool to obedo gi mos, nobet piny e puoth ma ne opong’ gi maua.

Bang’ choko kuom maua mopogore opogore ma ne oyudo e puothni - ma ne ng’ich, ma ne rieny, moko ne osebedo ka ng’ich matin, to pod ne gin mabeyo - nochako loso lum mare. Ka oting’o lum mayom gi lwete, ne oloso ng’injo - oloso rangi, ndhadhu, kod kuwe mar odiechieng’ manyien e ng’injo ma ne nenore ni nigi kuwe duto ma ni e piny.

Ka otiyo gi paro matut, ne osiko ka oloko petals kendo nowuorore owuon ka oling’:

- En tich maber ahinya ma ne obedo...

To ka ne odwaro chung’, tiende ne odonjore e kindgi - kendo ne olwar e wi lowo ma ng’ich, to mayom kowuok e piny ma nigi lum. Ne onyiero matek, ka onindo gi ng’ute. Ne pod omako ng’injo e lwete - ne ok okethore, kendo mano ne omiye mor ahinya.

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Ka onindo kamano, ne oyueyo yamo maler, kendo yamo ne wer mos mos e wende mage mayom e lum. Ne ochung’ malo nyaka e polo. Boche ne ng’iel mos, ka giloko kitgi, mana kaka lek ma ok nyal dwokore kendo.

Ne nitie gimoro manyien e wang’e - ok mana mor kende, to ne nitie ng’iyo moro ma ne ok ong’ere, kuwe ma ne gikone miyo ng’ato yueyo matut.

Kok ma ne ok ong’ere maber ne owuok e bungu matut - kowuok e bath got machielo, kama ne pok odhie. Ne odhi ng’ado ling’ mana kaka ng’ado ng’injo e nanga. Ne ochung’ mapoya e tiende, kendo chunye ne goyo e korgi. Mor kod kuwe duto ma ne pok oumo wiye ne olalo mana kaka buru mar odhiambo.

Ne ochako paro mapiyo bang’e kuom gweng’no.

“Gibiro nikech an...” ng’ute ne otho ka aparo gima ne otimore odiechieng’ mokalo. To dwolno ne ok wuok e yo ma ne owuokie. Ne omiyo ji bedo gi paro mopogore opogore—kendo e kindeno bende ne omiyo ji luoro ahinya.

Ne oling’. Gik moko duto ma ne ni e alworane ne neno ni ng’ich kaachiel kode. Ling' thi. Bungu ne neno ni onge ng’ato kendo.

To dwolno ne odwoke kendo. Koro machiegni. Ne nitie gimoro ma ne ok ong’eyo kuome. Ok ong’ere maber, ok chal gi dwol mar dhano kata mar le. Gombo nochako medore mos e iye, ka oriwre gi luoro mana kaka pi ma liet gi ng’ich. Ne ok owuok kama ne entie, to wang’e ne osebedo ka ng’iyo e tipo mar bath bungu ma ne pok odhie.

Ne owuok e puoth gi ritruok, ochung’ e wi achiel kuom kitego, ka omako ng’injo e lwete, kendo ne oling’ matek - ka en gi geno ni ne oparo mana wachno. Duol mar nam ne kweyo chunya, kendo yamo ne ogolo pacha kuom paro mane an go. To bang’e ne owinj ywak kendo - kendo e kindeni nying’ maler.

Ne oling’. Luoro ne omiye bedo ma ok nyal wuotho, kendo ne owinjo ma ok ong’eyo. Dwak mar nyathi... kod ywak mar guok.

Gima ne ohero ne oriwre kendo gi luoro, to e sechego, gombo mar ng’eyo mathoth ne oloyo. Ne odhi ng’anjo gi ritruok kochomo e puoth lum, ka owuotho ng’ato ka ng’ato kochomo kama duolno wuokie. E lum ma ne opong’ gi lum, ne oneno wuoyi moro - ma ne en ng’at maduong’ moloye matin. Wang’ maler, yier ma ng’injo makwar, dende ma ng’injo. Ne ok en ja gweng’no gadier - wang’e, lewni, kaka ne ochung’ ne miyo gimoro machielo. Gimoro ma ni e boma. Nyalo bedo ni kata gimoro mopogore... chuth.

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— Lusya! — he exclaimed, laughing, throwing a stick to the big cream-colored dog.

The dog either ran away with the stick, not letting it be taken, or suddenly placed it right into his palms. The boy argued with her, laughed loudly and sincerely. Their game was full of joy.

She stood in the shadow and watched, mesmerized. Everything — fear, anxiety, even the cold of the wind — suddenly disappeared. Her heart grew warm, as if someone had lit a little flame inside.

A few minutes passed. She leaned farther and farther out from behind the rock, unable to take her eyes off their game. Her lips stretched into a slight smile all by themselves. The wind swayed the grass, clouds slowly drifted across the sky, and the boy’s laughter sounded light and free. It seemed as if in this world there was no fear or pain — only this moment.

Everything could have continued — if the boy hadn’t suddenly seen her.

His eyes opened wide with surprise, he froze in place, and the next second he was knocked off his feet by his own dog. She heavily threw herself on top of him, yelping joyfully and licking his face. He laughed, trying to fend off her affection, but she stubbornly kept nudging his cheeks with her nose and licking his forehead.

When he finally managed to stand up, she was already gone.

His gaze nervously rustled across the clearing. He quickly turned, looking for her with his eyes. And finally — he saw her. Their eyes met.

Her heart beat so hard it seemed the boy could hear it. She got nervous, scared — and without thinking, rushed back, hiding behind the rock’s edge. For a moment everything vanished from her mind, only the fire of shame and quickened breathing remained. Behind her, barking was heard — the dog had again drawn the boy’s attention.

He realized it wasn’t his imagination when the dog also looked alertly in the same direction he was looking. She barked shortly and swiftly dashed forward — straight toward her. The boy, understanding nothing, ran after his beloved.